The title of this post is said with a strong NJ accent, because that’s how I talk. (Pronounced ‘tawk’ – not ‘tahk’). A NJ accent NEVER includes the word “Joisey”. That was a speech impediment.

So what am I going to do about this? What am I going to do about the fact that my immune system has decided we are NOT friends and it isn’t going to pretend that we are. I know this is true, because I’ve had another small line of nasty, itchy shingles blisters and other crummy symptoms. Shit job immune system. Seriously.

I suppose my immune system might say the exact same thing to me, because I have done almost everything to make sure it is always at a deficit – from years of way too little sleep, eating a less than a nutritionally optimal diet, running high on cortisol all of the time, and generally taxing and burning it out at every turn. Paybacks are indeed a bitch.

I get very uncomfortable with words like ‘self-care’ and ‘stress management’, because my super-power would be labeled ‘The Ability to Plow Through Anything’. Wait, you have that too? Strange how things work for moms. Probably some dads. But, oh, moms! The things we put aside to fill the role as caregivers – for some of us, it has bordered on ridiculous and extreme.

There are things I have begun to identify that are going to be necessary to recover a level of health that will allow me to continue doing what I want  and need to do. I am always pragmatic in my approach to problem solving. The list of activities that I know will benefit my health is growing and crowding up the pages of a legal pad. They include improving my diet  nutritionally, herbal supplements, accupuncture, exercise and learning to meditate. I need to reduce my stress level. How about you? Funny, right?

But there is one thing that could literally change it all. In fact, if I can’t get it to happen, most of my other work will be meaningless. I can’t move this ahead, at all, if I can’t make ‘The List’. ‘The List’ drives my day and is the holy prescription for all that happens in a 24-hour period.

My bullet journal runs the show. It is canon and drives all that is to happen. But rarely do I find myself anywhere on it. I am sure to include EVERY SINGLE need my kids (and sometimes Dennis) have, but not the tasks that would add to my own health and well-being. Things like drinking enough water, taking my supplements or getting all the servings of veggies I am trying to fit in do not get check marks and that is proving to be too big of an oversight to manage much longer.

Current goal: Make it to The List