There are more days of summer in September than there are in June, but people will easily accept June as ‘summer’ and September 1 as the heralding of fall.

Not so my friends and I forbid you to imbibe in anything “Pumpkin Spice” or to hang a wreath swathed in fake fall foliage on your front door until I say you can. I will be highly offended if you do, and lord know how we all feel about being offended. Except for me, because I’m a big girl and have way thicker skin than you.

August is totally gypping me out of the hot and sunny days I feel owed after all I put up with during The Season That Shall Not Be Named. Sometimes, I sit an conspire as to how I can transplant New Jersey, the whole friggin’ state, to a much warmer and temperate climate. If you know anything about me, it’s that I can’t function for long periods of time outside of New Jersey. Moving the whole state feels as rational of an option as it felt to me when I was trying to figure out how to leave the labor and deliver room while in labor with Ethan. I was completely certain that if I walked past the neon exit sign, the whole crazy mess would end. But, I digress. Often.

I won’t take September too seriously, though, with all it’s ‘School Supplies’ and shit. I will still attempt to sneak off to the beach every chance I get – even if that chance is in the evening and may cause my children to be out late at night. I will not participate The Great and Ridiculous Back-to-School Shopping Event. Gavin will still be wearing exactly what he’s been wearing for the last 698 days – jeans, a dark, graphic tee and a flannel shirt. I have explained summer to him and he is uninterested. Mikey will also return to school in his uniform – some super-matchy outfit consisting of sporty, nylon shorts, a brightly colored tee and crazy, mismatched socks that he still manages to match to his other clothing. I will probably acquiesce to a pair of overpriced Nikes for him. There – you happy now!?

Ethan is a grown-ass adult and Sean is a feral, homeschooler. Neither of them require much in the way of wardrobe changes.

Watch me, as I attempt to wring every last little drop of sunshine from the official 24 days left in summer. There are still a few things on my list. October is coming soon enough, but look at the date on this post.

It’s endless.