I tried to buy a Valentine’s Day card for Dennis. I really did.

We do not use the words, ‘Darling’, ‘Sweetheart’ or ‘Honey’. Never have and never will. He often refers to me as “Borland”, my maiden name. I just call him, you know, Dennis. Or ‘dude’.

The cards were so sappy, that at this point in our relationship (the 20-year mark) they seemed condescending.

I think if cards said things along these lines, they would be more authentic.

To The Guy I Married,

I love you because you’ve changed as many diapers as I have and you know when to make the kids take showers and when to just send them to bed.

I appreciate that you have learned to consider grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup dinner and you know just when to order pizza.

Thank you for ALWAYS coming by and unlocking my car with your key fob when I lock my keys in the car – again, and bringing jumper cables to the mall because we left the interior lights on – again. I love you because you say ‘it’s no problem’.

I love you because you understand that library fines are just a part of life.

Thanks for always offering me the big tv and the more comfortable couch. Love comes in many forms.

It means so much to me that you go to work – everyday. I know you love me because you have never let the household utilities get shut off or the house go into foreclosure, you make sure the kids have sneakers and you understand that $523 at Costco IS a bargain.  Thank you for consistently improving our FICO over our 20 year marriage.

Thank you for the date nights we’ve spent in Target – I really like being there with you. I truly love ‘family date nights’ to arcades and the boardwalk.

You are never better-looking than when you are vacuuming and your household ‘to-do’ list makes me feel very special.

The times we spend together are, indeed, the very best of my life. Mean it.

You see, it just depends on what you consider ‘romance’ folks.