There are some things I totally have. I’m nailin’ them. I could list them. But I won’t.

There are also things that just aren’t working. The same things persist day after day and month after month with little deviation. The same things confound me and my self-talk (you do that, right?) gets nasty. I get hung up on the same failures and frustrations. At some point I recognize that when you continue to repeat the same ineffective strategies day after day…well, it might be a commentary on ones mental health.

So, the pragmatist that I am grabbed a legal pad last Thursday, and from the moment I woke up I started jotting down the things that I would change, if I could. As I encountered them, I noted the roadblocks I was experiencing. I wrote down minor and major aggravations. I cannot possibly tell you them all – or even most – because, again, it might call into question my mental status.

I realized is that I do not like making myself coffee first thing in the morning. I want it made – but I want a little less effort. (Do not talk to me about a Kuerig) Sounds like such a little thing – but this was no-holes-barred list. My ‘evening self’ will now set up the percolator on my handy-dandy timer for my ‘morning self’. I know she will thank her. (Question mental health again)

I realized that for my family, we are getting up a little bit too late. I realized that I would prefer that I have done some type of ‘self-care’ before I am doing ‘kid-care’. Coffee, a shower and clothes would be nice. Speaking of clothes, I noted that I NEVER have something I want to wear clean and ready. I also noted that it is because I don’t have any clothes. I dislike all forms of fashion and shun most shopping. It is taking it’s toll and a pile of jeans and clean t-shirts, new socks and other necessities need to be procured. Don’t ask me to do better than that.

On my list, I complained of ‘having’ to do too many things at one time. The dining room table is seldom cleared off before dinner time. I rarely give myself enough time to get ready or adequate time to drive places. I made a New Year’s resolution regarding how many miles I’d like to walk this year and I am not fitting in all the time I will need to accomplish that. I disregard how long meals take. Repeating these same things every day cause frustration and feelings of inadequacy that I think can be avoided if I am honest and make additional allowances.

Oh no, did I say ‘meals’? Meal planning is a hot topic. A sore spot. Our family runs best when I know what is being served next. We regularly feed 4-6 of us 3 meals a day. It’s a project. If you whip up meals from what is ‘on-hand’, I am truly happy for you. I don’t have that type of brain power. I just want to know what is next and I’ll make it. I also believe it is best for our budget to plan and purchase. I occasionally get in a groove – plan, purchase, prepare, repeat – it’s the ‘repeat’ that trips me up.

I count on the magical powers of the New Year and I am invoking them here! I am spending the rest of the evening filling up my new meal planning tool, Plan to Eat, with our favorite recipes. So far, so good. I think it will take some of the most painful parts out of this task. Consolidating recipes in one spot – check! Ability to grab from anywhere on the internet – check! A planner to drop each meal into and a shopping list generated from the calendar – yes! I’ll keep you updated.

I have a list now – and I LOVE lists – of things that need resolved. (There really were a lot of items on my list) I’m going to pick away at them one by one. In the meantime, this has been transcribed onto an index card and placed where I can see it.

O God, give me the serenity to accept what cannot be changed,

The courage to change what can be changed,

and the wisdom to know the one from the other.

Because I mean it.