I know they’re inanimate. I swear I do. It’s just that creeping downstairs and flicking on the lights to the laundry room (that I had not been in in a couple of days) – well, it really ‘felt’ like the washer and dryer might have had something to say.

Well, well, well, look who it is! You do know that this laundry doesn’t wash itself?!?

Yeah – I mean, of course. I’m here, aren’t I? Wow – that load in the washer stinks!!

Like I said, the clothes don’t wash themselves. You do know that you have washed the same load of laundry twice, right?!?

I do. I don’t mean to do it. I’m not any happier about it than you are!

So, exactly HOW many times will your throw that damp washcloth in here to steam the wrinkles out of this load?!?!

Oh, now you’re going to start?!

It’s just that it’s not that hard! We do all the work – you just need to spend 5 minutes folding and starting the next load. We don’t know how you are EVER going to clean up this mess!

Me neither! They make it sounds so easy! I get that this didn’t happen, really, and that the washer and dryer can’t yell at me. I was just imagining it. Do you think that is a problem? Because I know that the laundry is.

Did you know I’ve had a conversation with an imaginary bathroom inspector? True story.