I’ve been sick and tired. I am not comfortable with either of those states. I developed a fever for a few days and an extremely sore thoat. Sometimes it was so sore I couldn’t think straight. It made me think about people for whom choronic illness is something they live with. I knew very well that my illness would pass and that in several days (oh, the horror!) I would be well again. I know people who live with an illness or a limitation on a daily basis and yet persevere with such grace and dignity. I thought about the frustration they must feel when they need to tend to their own physical needs rather than something else they would rather be doing. I realized how much I rely on my own strength and health and spent a lot of time being so grateful for that gift. Being sick makes me panicky, feeling like I might not be able to meet everyone’s needs or get done the things that I deem ‘necessary’. I feel like I had the chance to develop some empathy. It’s not that I’ve never been sick before, but maybe I was just in a place that I could listen to the message.
Because I was sick, I was really tired. There is not a physical feeling that strikes fear into me more than tiredness does. I am unfamiliar with it ~ I have been gifted with an extrodinary amount of physical energy. Coupled with the fact that I have also been gifted 4 boys, none of whom are short on energy, I am exceedingly blessed. I realiz that many people who live with chronic fatigue for one reason or another can no more control that as I can the fact that I rarely feel it. I am so sorry if this is something that plagues you. I hope I used this time that frustrated me so much to improve my compassion for others.
I’ve been a little introspective lately. I realize how easy it is for any of us to covet the gifts that others have been given. I am amazed by moms who are really organized and never miss an appointment and women who can prepare delicious and varied meals night after night. I am sure I could make a whole list of things that challenge me. Maybe I will sometime. I am feeling better, and I am hoping that I am better for it.
I recently took these pictures on a day out at Duke Farms in Hillsborough.
I have been working hard on improving my photography.