Conversation with the Imaginary Bathroom Inspector

(otherwise known as “I Might be Losing My Mind”)

The boys have their own bathroom, upstairs. Yes, ma’am – two days ago.
4 boys. Yes, God bless me.
Yes, I do own Clorox. And a toilet brush.
I hardly see how this is my mother’s fault – she did the best she could.
I swear – two days ago!
I do know there is sand, rocks and shells on the floor. Mikey says they fell out of his bathing suit.
I do think there should be a basic standard of clean – I kind of thought I was meeting that.
No, Huh?
You know, I feel like I am on some type of work-release program and have been sentenced to clean a fraternity house.
No – I don’t think this is at all funny.
I agree, towels should not smell like this.
Yes, we do plan on replacing the broken towel racks – I just see chin ups and ‘gymnastics’ happening on them.
Yes, we have told them they should not do it.
Oh that? It’s glue from where we attached and *detached* the Touch and Brush. The blue stains on the floor are where the toothpaste plopped out of the Touch and Brush. See, we tried.
Yes, I understand what needs to get done. Yes, I found your visit particularly helpful although very disheartening.
Noooooooo, I don’t need anything else inspected.

As I was wrapping up my imaginary conversation (yes, I know that it’s not normal) Ethan yelled upstairs for me to come and fix him a bowl of ice cream. Do you think he can eat it with a toilet brush???

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