I began to think about picking a theme word for 2018 during the Christmas craziness. I was looking for something dreamy and ethereal. I was hoping for a word that was inspiring and majestic. I brainstormed while I colored sacred, geometric patterns. I mulled over the alphabet as I folded my laundry and threw random words out there as I drove countless miles shuttling my kids around. I listened to Tedtalks and inspirational music.
I have certain topics and issues in my life that have been pulling on my proverbial sleeves. Things like squaring away more appropriate life insurance choices and updating our will. Items that come in the mail have been vexing me – a statement that comes from Dennis’ retirement fund every quarter that I don’t fully understand, the PSE&G bill that I can never discern, and references to forms I am supposed to be submitting in regards to Ethan’s guardianship. There are several things that are hanging around my head, bugging me like little gnats. A foggy puddle of forms, topics, goals, issues, numbers, budgets, etc…..things that I don’t really have a grasp on. I don’t like it.
I have a bunch of amorphous goals and dreams that have not been organized into neat rows with boxes next to them waiting to be checked off. They are not defined and recorded. I don’t have action points for these goals and dreams that would tell me I am in the right road or even using the right map.
I cannot possibly reach a destination that remains undefined.
I don’t want to allow the GPS of my life to continue to re-calculate because I have gone off in too many directions for it to pick up the ‘quickest route’.
Slowly, from the corner of my eye I saw something sauntering around like an aloof housecat. When I would turn my head, it would be gone. I got a feeling, but not a word. The feeling lead me down a path, beckoning me with words like ‘focus’ and ‘understand’. The scene that continually came to mind during this process was one of opening a closet, pulling out all of the contents, sorting the items, understanding their purpose, assessing it’s relevance and putting back only what is vital to completely the clearly defined tasks I have in front of me.
I did not expect a verb. But a verb is what I was given.
It mean to ‘brighten with light’ and ‘to make lucid and clear’.
It means to ‘enlighten, as with knowledge’. ‘Spell out’, ‘clear up’ and ‘define’ are all related to it.
This is going to be good. Someone hand me a flashlight.
Thank you, Susannah!