I’m Baaaacccckkkk!

Can I come back? I miss it here. Will you come back? Can we get back together 😉

I felt like I was too busy, too distracted and depleted. I lost momentum and focus and thought maybe blogging was a narcissistic exercise or futile endeavor. But I’ve decided that it’s neither.

As Anais Nin said, ‘We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” And I have missed chronicling and sharing my life in the blogosphere.  For me, writing helps to process events, gain perspective and enjoy community of those of you who enjoy it along side me. I have had people reach out through comments, texts, emails and IRL after a blog post to help me sort something out or to simply say – ‘me too’. I love when someone tells me they referenced by blog to take a family day trip or laughed at my chaos & calamities. Ah, I have missed that second tasting of life.

I hope you won’t be mad, but a lot has changed around here and there are more changes coming. Oh boy. Currently, two of my homeschool birdies have flown the coop. They are flapping their wings in the public school system ~ both Mikey and Gavin are testing those waters. It is an interesting vantage point – viewing institutional schooling through very ‘homeschooly’ lenses. It is interesting, challenging and so far so good.

3scoutsAnd what about Ethan who is completing his last few months or formal, school based education? What about that? Ugh. I hope you don’t expect too many answers about THAT – because as of right now, I have more questions than answers. Is that ok?

d&eSean has become an only child between the hours of 7 a.m. and 3 p.m. I have never had or wanted to have an only child. He counts on me as a playmate and the only person who can separate difficult lego bricks. Sean gauges the depth of your love by the time you are willing to spend in intense, long and arduous board games. I am more of a Blink player. He’s not havin’ it. He remains the homeschool holdout and has informed me that if I even think of ‘making’ him go, he will say ‘inappropriate things’ to ensure his expulsion. I really dig this kid.

Are you expecting me to say something about myself?

I’ve changed.
I am changing.
I need to change.
I need a change.

Maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Crisis doesn’t fit, though. A midlife ‘reassessment’? Inventory? Something has shifted and everything requires questioning. Everything. What have I done? What am I going to do now? I ask those questions in the most gigantic, existential way those questions can be asked. Can you hang around here if I am going to ask those kinds of questions?

manateeSo, really. Can we please get back together? I missed you.