Tiny Thoughts

This weekend, he sat in my lap, facing forward, his teeny tush fitting into a spot right before my knees and the crown of his head slipped right under my chin. I fear that in two days, he will have grown enough to not fit there.

DSC09640 (1)He spends a good portion of his time perched on tables and counters like an agile, adorable little gremlin. I can encase his entire small fist inside of mine. I can close my hand right around it. That will last about 10 more minutes, I think.

I can easily scoop up all 34 lbs. of him and balance him on my hip where he’s sat since he was 5 months old. I will miss it when I can’t do it anymore.

DSC09589 (1)When I look in the rear view mirror of my car – he looks particularly tiny. His face is small and round, with the tiniest nose & his baby teeth. His eyes though, are giant, with long sweeping eye lashes. Given the option, I really might freeze him. Keep as an adorable Costello mascot.

I try to remember Ethan, and Gavin and Mikey at 5. I cannot get back there readily. Sean happens to be 5 while his siblings are older and a little more self-sufficient than my previous combinations of kids. It is easy to stop and stare at him as he skips through a parking lot and wiggles and jiggles all around like a puppy and wonder how much longer this can last.

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Does anyone know how to stop time? Or at least be allowed to revisit it?

If I get the forty additional years statisticians say are likely coming to me, I could fit in at least one, maybe two new lifetimes. Sad that only one of those lifetimes can include being the mother of young children.

Anna Quindlen

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Comments

  1. Ronnie Tal says:

    This post made me cry a little. I love your writing, Janet!